“What you are is God’s gift to you, what you become is your gift to God.”
― Hans Urs von Balthasar, Prayer
In my quiet place I read scripture and pray it aloud for Gods ears to hear. His words are perfect, my own are not, therefore I read His words that reflect my heart. In my quiet place God fills me with His quiet strength. When chronic pain overwhelms, I no longer reach for a capsule, I retreat with God in His quiet place.
During times of great pain I could not even sit still. I pushed past the pain and began to paint on an old wooden headboard, the Bible verse Psalm 91: “Whoever dwells in the shelter of the most high will rest in the shelter of the Almighty” Funny how the canvas that I had available was an old headboard, a symbol of rest in our beds. It took me a few days to complete with my joints inflamed and hurting. The determination to pull out of the pain took first prize yet only with the strength that God graciously gave. There is power in His words, how can we not know this? The years that I foolishly relinquished to the false search of true peace within my own self and throughout the world simply landed when I let go and let God. In my quiet place with the Lord Almighty giving Him the reins instead of tangling them all up inside of myself. The quiet strength that He gives surpasses all of my own understanding, He simply IS. I pray for those that do not understand not in hast only in deep love, hoping to spare another from such a long journey that I drained my life through. Once found how could I hold it in…He sustains my life, I am His.
Much of my day in the work that I am blessed to provide with leads me to a heavy amount of research. I am by nature a “research nerd”. My inquisitive brain and intriguing spirit to unveil the puzzle pieces called life and all that lies within it, is easily pleased to research anything and everything that I may not understand, disagree with or for no reason much at all. I simply enjoy the journey into hopeful understanding. My faith in Christ the Messiah is hardly under searched. Much of my life was spent running away from the truth that I knew deep down and striving to remold the truth once I found it in order to create my own need of false comfort. I can truly spend the rest of my life searching deeper still and yes, I plan too. Yet I have reached an intimacy with God beyond what I could ever explain. I am no longer the same.
When I was searching scripture to post on our Outreach page on FB< I felt like changing it up and typed in missionary quotes. I lost track of time after a few hours after finding one like minded heart after another like minded heart. I was overwhelmed with the words of others from generations ago to current that hold the same love of our heavenly Father. Inhaling their words filled my soul. So much of the world disagrees, debates, laughs and attacks. It is a daily funeral of word tossing in the days of today. To view radical love of God in the words of missionaries and martyrs sculpted my desire to leap even further into Gods design of the day given no matter if I am in the quiet, performing a simple task or serving out in the mission bus. Everything has deeper meaning even my personal, immense amount of flaws and error. Gods grace is simply sufficient. Its not about me…
The daily battle to shove off self and embrace an Omnipotent God in the day and age we live in right now has become harder and harder. We must adhere ourselves to His word and remember that God is an ancient God, never changing, always the same from the beginning to the middle till the end. It is us that change and the more we develop the harder it is to push off our personal entitlement to live as if we are our own God, sadly in this deception the real tragedy falls in our own lap as we push further away the one that ultimately created us and who holds eternity in His hand. When I sit alone outside and simply view the complexity of the trees, the flowers the birds I become taken back by how much there is to know and how much is far beyond our own comprehension. There simply is a greater being than us. How powerfully stunning He is. I belong to him, He gives me a new day every moment that I exist. I lean into him when I am in pain and in joy. To know my own silliness, faults and lack there of’s no longer matters when I know He loves me anyway and that He is the one to be praised, not I.
These are my thoughts today…felt like sharing. Love love love .